Patent Leather Daddy

Excuuuuse me? I believe Miss Nicki Minaj needs no introduction. Hell, even the Times is talking about her. Whatever you think of her music, you have to like the fact that she seems to enjoy taking on different characters (read: weaves 'n' voices) in her tracks and photos—Marilyn Monroe, Chaka Khan, Mickey Mouse, Wonder Woman—and now, with the release of her new mixtape Beam Me Up, Scotty, Minaj has taken on bubblegum-princess-meets-Alicia-Alonso-in-Romantic-Era-ballet-teases:



Cute. But not as cute as this lil' stunt: You remember this from a couple years ago, right—when some "B.X. chick" bulldagger waving around a stack of $1 bills claimed to have had a sexual relationship with Remy Ma? And then apparently called her on her cell phone? And said "she ate the box"?

Look again. NO; look and listen again. That face shape, those distinctive eyes. And, in the words of Carmen Xtravaganza, "that voice is still there," albeit exaggerated and lowered in pitch. Can we just pretend for a minute that this is Nicki Minaj sans weave, sans fake eyelashes, sans foundation, sans lip gloss? There seems to be a lil beef between her and Remy. And Nicki can be heard in multiple interviews using several of the same turns of phrase, especially the word "box" in reference to her own kuchini. And not that blunt! Not that rag! The layering? I mean, this YouTube video is the ultimate Remy diss track, and Nicki takes her finest turn in her finest role. Of course it's a joke and a hoax. She is super well-spoken, articulate, thoughtful, and logical on even the most simplistic interview questions. And come on; girl's halfway about to smile and crack up throughout this whole video. I rolled my eyes at first, but now I'm rethinking the Times's observation that Minaj is the "Cindy Sherman of rap."

Oh, don't take my word for it. Listen to her from 0:38 on "Itty Bitty Piggy," from her new mixtape (download the full thíng here):

• Nicki Minaj – Itty Bitty Piggy

And she loves to alter her voice and do accents in her interviews. Here's her shoutouts, where she's giving me Downtown Julie Brown:

• Nicki Minaj – Nicki Minaj Speaks

And, of course, this song title:

• Nicki Minaj – Girls Kissing Girls [feat. Gucci Mane]

Then I discovered this track, which samples the video and was mixed by a Dutch guy and repping the Dutchiest of New York's neighboorhood names (and nicely capping off my fall/winter obsession with Dutch painters and Dutch lighting and Dutch Renaissance looks [ga-ga-ga-gag on Van Eyck!]):

• Renaissance Man – Harlem [Original Mix]

And while you're at it, get into their other track:

• Renaissance Man – Spraycan [Original Mix]

Fuck it. Get into the whole Spraycan EP.